Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Your platypuses belong to me...

This is when I feel lost for words. Somehow, posting here has become a different experience for quite sometime (read: years). The silver lining here though, is that this time, I have a little bit to dish out on a couple of things, which frankly is an improvement over most of what I've penned down using my usual strategy of basically writing anything in a post and then praying for universal appreciation. (Works better than you can imagine, ask my readers reader :))

Anyway, this family friend of mine is getting married, and yes people get married ALL the time (Quite literally in fact), but considering how most of my older cousins had kids before I could walk (It's actually quite disturbing when I put it that way), I had till now been denied a bunker post at weddings, thus this is my first time in the marriage limelight, where you know, you hang out with the groom and do the cool things like drive people around, throw bachelor parties and give stupid advise but get away with it like grownups do (like 'Banquet halls are jam packed in Jan, you should try to get a wedding date that is less congested....' or 'Don't get drunk on your wedding'). So we fast forward to this conversation I had with him, in which I COULD have said:

"Hey, we'll have a REAL bachelor party, like the one from [insert sit-com name]."

OR

"Hey, did you catch the match last night?"

OR even

"Hey, vengeance is not a virtue."

but what I did say was:

"Hey, you know how our parents talk about the time they got married , THAT is where you are now! By the time I pass out of college, you'll have kids!"

I always thought that " 'Wrong' is one of those concepts that depends on witnesses", clearly I was mistaken, Let's just say my discussion with him escalated into something that quite reminded me of the ones I used to have with my parents when they were at the if-you-don't-shout-at-your-teenager-he-will-NOT-get-into-college-and-DO-drugs stage. Apparently some cows ARE too holy.

I WOULD have thrown follow-ups here, maybe even summarized with a happy ending, but he has sort of stopped taking my calls, and my dad just told me that "his wedding might just be postponed for sometime", hence this time I conclude while praying for these incidents to be non-related. Somehow the wedding limelight isn't as much fun as it was made out to be.

Me.

P.S. I had completely forgotten how cool stupid titles to posts sound, and Yeah, I DID make a conscious effort to cut down on the 'Well'...

7 comments:

Missy said...

:D

I'm curious about the entire conversation.

imperfect said...

damn. I wish I knew I had to say THIS! my ex got married last week, did everything and couldn't stop it, how could I when the golden words were with you! :P

Rahul Bhatnagar said...

@Missy: Well judging by how I felt after it, in spite of my greatly diminished sense of morality, I can honestly say that it wasn't one of my best conversations...

@Imperfect: Really feel sorry for you, sadly the breaking up of marriages due to conversations with exes only happens in B grade hindi flicks. Ohh and THANK YOU for implying that I 'stopped' a marriage, that will really help soothe my sense of guilt...

Ayushi Mona said...

hey Rahul, thanks for the comment on my anurag mathur post. Rare to see a funny Indian writer :)
Marriages are overrated.
Cool non- related titles even more so !
BTW if you like reading , try joining www.goodreads.com :)

Pree-yea.... said...

doushipHey.. Thanks for visiting and really, I highly doubt any relation of the two incidents, he just got cold feet maybe (:

Meher said...

Okay, true, Indian marriages are fairly over-rated. But you were quite a bitch anyway! :D [all the while hoping that the two things weren't related]
What about the whole conversation? :P

bluebutterbeer said...

Is your title supposed to be a play on 'All your base are belong to us'?