Monday, August 16, 2010

Vindictive posting...



My little well is just a drop in front of the mighty sea that is life...

2. Heloozzzz ppl, u kno 2day v went to da movies, it was vry nyc fun guyzz, me nd ol ma frnds hd a grt tym, v hd iyc cream nd chips too. YUMMM!... and so on.

3. Life is meaningless.Life IS a bitch. Why do people you love the most always hurt you? After (insert time) of supposed love how could he/she rip open my chest, tear out my heart and smear it all over the walls around me! I could have done anything for him/her but he/she just didn't care.... and so on.

4. I'm just en route to the quest that encompasses life's innate and unending urge for serendipity and congruence. My purpose is to extricate a retort that's simplistic albeit not simple, as channeling the fortitude to climb the rock strewn road is just as imperative.... et cetera.


Okay, so THIS is a very personal post, we all keep coming across posts that are engrossing, quirky, cool and sometimes even life altering, well this one is about the ones that are none of those things. In fact, its about the posts that I hate.

1. Listen, you're basically trying to fool people into seeing things that aren't there, I mean, in a well done up post like this one, your readers would probably start commenting on how they practically orgasm-ed and attained nirvana all while looking at 4 near naked people in the middle of a river on a bamboo boat.

2. Too much of pain to read, this is NOT an sms, you're NOT paying per character, at least write complete words even if you don't care for punctuation.

3. Yes, I hear you, and I sympathize, so do ALL your friends, and ALL the people who've commented on your Facebook Status Messages and spent hours consoling you over the phone. But posting stuff about what a bitch life is, and how its doing you in the ass, will NOT help you, people don't know what to say to this man, so apart from the ' It'll get better soon's and the 'Take it in your stride, happens' there's not much you can expect.

4. There's a reason why archaic Shakespearean English is not used in day to day conversation, and that's because people find it LAME! It is NOT cool to write like you're Queen Elizabeth, and its not that people don't know what 'antidisestablishmentarianism' (firefox detects this as a typo, maybe I typed it wrong) means, they simply consider typing it to be too much of a pain in the ass.

Hope I've made my point clear.

Ohh and I think this is where I add the necessary disclaimers about how its just my perspective and how if you think that people have the right to write the way they want to, its okay and that the picture is not just 4 naked men in the middle of the river, but in fact it is the key to the secret of life....

Come on people, Life is just as complicated as you perceive it to be, and if the stuff I write is the amalgamation of exactly what all you hate in people's writing styles, then I'm sorry, but there's nothing you can do about it.

P.S. The 'start/' '/stop' probably come from the extensive coding I've been doing in mark-ups which also reminds me how much I hate insanely technical blogs that most fellow IITians have. Geeks are douches.


Monday, May 31, 2010

5 hours ago

We cut to the chase.
Due to the events of

My dad had somehow managed to convince himself that I wasn't really good with driving, (yeah you can't blame him), anyway due to the 'social outcry' against 19 year olds who 'can't' drive, daddy dearest deemed it fit to wake me up at 5:00 AM to 'test' my driving skills, he COULD have justified the time with some early-morning-fresh-air-crap, but well I'm guessing that telling me that it was 'in public interest' was somehow supposed to bring out the best in me.

Well, there's precious little that even a 'known public offender' like me can go wrong with in an empty ground at 5 AM, so after litmus test I was driving back home, when things got interesting...

DAD: Try taking a U-Turn on this road. (In this whole 'THIS is a surprise test!' tone)
Me: Wtf? Fine...
DAD: Turn the steering back now!
Me: Wait, let the car start to straighten...
DAD: TOO LATE! (Lunges for the steering, as if our lives are in grave danger as we turn on this empty street, FIRST GEAR!)

Okay, there was this brief bit during which both me and my dad were hanging on either side of the steering, and it IS kind of difficult to control cars when a 50 year old man is trying to pull the steering down with his body weight on the other side! There was an open drain running on the street side, and as if this all conclusive driving test needed more of a silver lining, one of the tyres gets lodged in it!

Well what's amazing is how NO ONE listens to teenagers, because when I got back home, my mom tried to reason with me about how 'I should have been prepared for this'! As if its the mark of a good driver to handle things when people jump onto the steering wheel without warning! Its almost as if I was getting the 'गाड़ी चलाना कब सीखेगा? कलमुहे!'

Ohh and if things needed to get any better, my dad somehow managed to convince himself that my look of immense WTF-ness was in fact because I was embarrassed and saddened, he hence summed up the morning with a 'Don't be sad, a week like this with me, and you'll be good to go on roads'!

I miss the time when dad would just buy me things if he thought I was sad.

Totally looking forward to more 5 AM death rides.


Sunday, May 9, 2010

Ye olde legend of yore.

And I blog again.

‘Once upon a time there was a boy, he was prety intelligent and nice only. He had many friends, he loved them very much. He was not fake and dishonest. His skin color was white, he studied in college, he loved it very much. He did not play very many sports but he liked sitting and watching his cosin sisters play in the sun. He liked colours- blue purpole and green. His favorite book in the world was Harry Potter. He read it every day. He tried to play the guitar in college but played one song only. He had a veryyyyy long nose, but he said he didn’t. Ok, I don’t know how to end.’

THIS is what happens when you dare your 8 year old cousin to write a fairytale. Ohh and I’m supposed to be the ‘intelligent and nice only boy’! I do like Harry Potter but she wrote that probably because let’s face it, isn’t that the only series kids have heard of and yeah, the one song only- Pull Me Under, Dream Theatre.

P.S. Typo’s are intentional and in accordance with the manuscript. And I do NOT have a long nose.

And yeah, that's the cutest thing I’ve ever read. :)