Monday, July 30, 2012

A pinch of salt, and a lot of Pepper.

Okay, this post will probably make me sound like an 11 year old with a morbid belief in happy endings, and a complete ignorance of death. There are no witty one-liners today, no crazy metaphors, no lists and nothing that can be directly interpreted as, you know, happiness.

A couple of days ago, I came across a three legged pup, outside this swanky Bangalore hotel, I noticed her primarily when I saw the nice Virappan-looking guard kicking her to keep her away from the gate, maybe to make sure she didn't disgust the up-market 5-star guests that were probably scheduled to come. Anyway, I picked her up, walked a couple of kilometers and dropped her at what seems to be the ONLY animal shelter in Bangalore, well considering that I don't routinely qualify as a nice-human-being, and I do have a lot of things weighing down on my conscience, it did feel extra special to have actually done something that would have added to my share of positive Karma. That's when things got interesting.

The kick ass animal shelter people, who I had gladly outsourced my positive Karma to, just called me yesterday to tell me that her leg's damaged beyond repair, because some car or something's probably run her over, so they can't use her with the rest of the shelter dogs (who they take to play with autistic children apparently.) I can if I choose to, somehow drop her back where I found her, so that she can be kicked around a little more , because if no one takes her back in sometime, they'll 'put her to sleep'. 

So, my tryst with positive karma turned out to be a sham, and the person I 'saved' is in fact going to die. I mean, yeah it might be for the better etc, but it's just hard to imagine that something that barely reaches up to your ankle, and spent the better part your association with her crying in your arms, is going to that big dog house up there. So here I am, thinking of stuff in retrospect amazed at how the difference between 'having good intentions' and 'doing good deeds' is frighteningly clear now. 

I don't know what's the right thing to do, or why this is messing me up so much, but I sort off liked knowing that I did a cool selfless thing, sometimes life's a bitch even to 'bitches'.

P.S. Pepper is what I used to call her, on hindsight it seems weird that I gave a name to a puppy who I'd met for like 3 hours, but I guess I probably picked that up from a very benign (read: intolerable) soul.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

3:56:27 AM. Bangalore, India.

I know I'm starting this post like it's a diary entry for a character in Lost, but it 3:56 AM and I'm still at work, writing a report that summarizes my internship in Bangalore. And considering I'm whiling away my time on blogger as the cursor blinks idly on an empty word document at my Desktop, I COULD have been a tad bit more motivated.

Anyway, something about the inevitable end to my Bangalore stint drew me to writing this down. It's been a long 3-ish months, and I've admittedly had an eventful time. Here are the highlights:

1. I finally found someone willing to tag along with me to Lahore! Well, yeah, I'll get into more detail about this sometime in the future, right now we can just summarize it with the fact that I do have a very filmy connection with Pakistan, which also involves a death-bed promise to visit an ancestral home made to the most important woman ever in my life, my dadi. :)

2. I learnt that going out for a couple of beers at lunch makes work a lot more tolerable. :)

3. I realized EXACTLY how much I hate Bollywood, basically how popular culture makes you think of yourself as the lead of your own movie. Where you know, you get the happy endings, and your giving it all away for one thing isn't ridiculed or slandered. The DDLJ moments don't really translate that well into real life. If there's one thing Bollywood loves doing, it's trying to convince you that it's wise to ignore your responsibilities in favor of a reward that has virtually no chance of happening, you can, for example, stand at the McDonalds where you first met someone in a particular city with a bunch of blue orchids in your hand excited to be able see them one last time and still have them not show up. You can send someone a text telling them you don't want to cause them pain only for them to scream at you and tell you they never want to see or talk to you again. You don't get to rectify every mistake you made, but you get reminded about them in painstaking detail. You tell someone you have an innate need of protecting them from being hurt only to be questioned about how you felt. You can try taking a 'leap of faith' only to fall face first into the ground.

Okay, I've started to rant again. (You can't blame me! It's fucking 4 in the morning!). Also Notice the bottom left corner, THAT is how much I've gotten done on my report. :)

Pray for me.

P.S. I know my handwriting isn't exactly an asset. :)